xpost, today

So. Life was going spectacularly there for a while. Loved my job, met some awesome people, moved to a new place. Had an amazing summer. And then something happened. Other shoe, perhaps, dropping as it so often does? Not sure.

Long story shortish....I quit my job a few weeks ago cuz getting out of bed in the morning wasn't all that manageable. Hooray for depression? *sigh* Ran out of meds, and out of money to buy meds.

Those friends I mentioned...thank fuck for them. Not sure how I'd've made it thru the past month without them. Nice to just knock on someone's door at 2am, be greeted with "you're not asleep" and then curl up in 'my' chair without having to explain or make up lies or pretend or even talk. Nice to have someone say "no more!" when they notice I've drained a glass of wine in less than 5 minutes. Nice that their life goes on around me and I can just fade a bit in to the background when I want.

In other news. Gloria called me yesterday. Very, very.....I don't even have a word for it. Weird, I guess? Not good weird or bad weird. Just weird. We hadn't talked or had contact in...4...5 years? I realized, during our 40 minute conversation, that we're very much alike. Not good at reaching out or asking for help or keeping in touch. Both feeling like pretty enormouse failures at life. Both carrying around a fuckton of guilt.

She'd like me to be a part of her boys' life. Get this...her ex and kids moved to where I grew up. Not, like, "oh, around where I grew up...about an hour down the road..." kind of a thing. Nope. Same small freaking town. They go to the same school I went to. I mean. Is that a little crazy? Of all the hundreds of millions of places they could've ended up?? They landed at Norwin? There are a dozen school districts in that county. And they're walking the same halls I walked.
Ok, maybe not exactly, since I believe the high school has been remodeled since I graduated. But stilllllll!!!!!! Fuckin crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Not in a bad way, again. Just so damn weird.

I don't know quite how to wrap my head around it. I mean, I've known about them since I found Gloria. But she just told them about me. So suddenly two guys out there have a big sister, in a way. And I have little brothers. Strange. I'm used to being the youngest. Of course, just cuz they know I exist now doesn't mean they think of me as related, or that they ever will. But still. Someday they might. That'd be kinda cool. In the very least, at least we can bitch about Norwin, right? Heh. I wonder if Federinko is still dictator principal. I wonder if the slogan is still First Class, All the Way. Ah, good ol' Mr Peduzzi.

Weird, to imagine that some of my old teachers have these guys in class and that they're related to me....I wonder what Mrs Walters would think?!! Or Mrs Walzcak or Frau Metzger. Craaaaazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm. Need to go feed the cats before they chew off my face.